I've been on enough first dates as a single mum to know what's appropriate and what's completely bonkers. Follow these tips to ensure a hiccup-free night out with a new guy!
Don't diss your ex. I went on a date with a single dad recently. Before my Blue Moon even arrived, he was telling me about his "crazy ex-wife" who does everything to sabotage his relationship with his young daughter. Even if this was true, I want nothing to do with this guy and his drama. Say his ex is a nut job that makes his parenting time hard—is she gonna want me or my son around? The fact that I had to wonder about this while sipping my first drink turned me off. What's more: A single dad I met online revealed in communication #1 that he lets his "crazy ex-wife have custody so she doesn't cry to the lawyers." Not only did I find it completely bonkers he thought it was OK to share this info with a complete stranger online, but I also wanted to punch my computer screen because he came off like such a douche. OK, bro. I'm sure it's totally convenient to let your wife take care of the kids 24/7 while you visit here and there. You sound like an awesome, reliable catch. Ew.
Don't get drunk. I am all for liquid courage on a first date but I have two rules of thumb. I never have a getting-ready-at-home-cocktail—you know, a glass of wine while I do my makeup. And I usually stick to one or two vodka sodas with lemon wedges. This crisp drink is water based to keep me hydrated. And I always ask for ice water on the side. Bottom line: Getting drunk on a first date is annoying and ugh, it can lead to X-rated things you'll regret the next day. (There's plenty of time to have fun down the road when you feel comfy sleeping at his place and NOT driving!)
Talk about your kid in an organic way. This is touch and go. I've been on first dates with guys who ask about my son and really want to know deats about his Little League team, favourite foods, and xyz. This is adorable and relieving. But, I've also been on dates where my son is brought up, but then the conversation deters. Either way, because this is a first date, I'm OK with talking about my son or not. I tend to let the guy lead me. First dates aren't marriage proposals, so I don't feel pressured to share info about my life at home with my kid. The fact he's on a date with me, a single mum, means he has to be open to the idea of dating a parent, right?
Choose the right sitter. You're prob going to be nervous because, after all, you're going on a first date! As a single parent, you may be diving back into the
cold freezing dating pool! It's not the night to try out a new sitter. If it's not your ex's turn to watch your child (that is if he's involved), be sure to use someone tried-and-true. Grandmas 911 is ideal and likely free. You don't want to be stressing if your kid is OK and checking your phone 24/7 after finding a newbie on sittercity.com or whatever site you use (babysitting sites freak me out, but that's just me!).
Dress to impress. Like save something for the imagination, dress to impress. In summer time, I like to wear a maxi dress or one that hits just below the knee with a sweet—NOT sexy neckline. I'm a big fan of looking like who you really are. In my daily life, day or night, I don't wear a lot of makeup or "do" my hair. I'm pretty natural: A little bronzer, blush, mascara, and a nude or bright lip does it for me. I have long hair that I air dry (seriously). So, it's either down and wavy, or tied back. I don't mean to scare guys away, but if I could wear jeans and tees on every date—I would.
Feel free to share your tips, too!