Why We Stayed Married, Despite the Hard Times

Cynthia's Side: The women in my family have a history of enduring trauma. In fact, five generations of women have experienced abuse such as rape, emotional abuse and abandonment. Growing up, it did not seem odd to me that marriages didn't last and relationships were always in some state of disaster. It never dawned on me to ask schoolmates or friends about their family dynamics because I was sure that we all lived the same life.

Men have always been attracted to me and so entering relationships was easy. Staying in them and feeling seen and connected was another matter. I emulated my childhood with one challenging relationship after another. I began to see that there were couples who were happy and I was confused. They were respectful and loving with each other. I thought that the answer must be marriage, so I  married and the old patterns re-emerged. When we (inevitably) divorced, I still had no idea how to create loving relationships. I began to work on myself. I went to therapy, went back to school and began a deep spiritual practice.

Read the rest over at Your Tango – Our Marriage Got Hard: Why We Decided to Stay Together

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