Help, Knock Knock Jokes Needed!


My almost five-year old has become enamored with the idea of jokes, and of course my three-year old adores anything his brother does, so I am being stretched to the limit of my store of age-appropriate humour.

They were introduced to the idea of (non-knock-knock) jokes by their popsicle sticks, which each deliver a joke that is unfunnier than the last – e.g. Q: What is the playground’s favourite style of music? A: Swing! Really. Apparently Popsicle employs a humour writer who is at least 112 years old. My small, sticky, popsicle eaters laugh valiantly, as if swing clubs were their favourite hangout, but clearly don’t get the “humor” in any of these. They do make up a lot of their own hilarious jokes, such as – Q: How does Superman save his butt? A: For later!! A little esoteric, but not bad, this one. Most of the others are along the same lines: “Knock, knock” “Who’s there?” “Your butt!!” (no further explanation needed.)

I myself know exactly two pre-school level jokes: 1) Q: How do you sell a duck to a man who’s hard of hearing? A: HEY MISTER, WANT TO BUY A DUCK??; and 2) “Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Gotup.” “Gotup Who?”” Well, why don’t you go to the bathroom then??” My family doesn’t appreciate the hilarity of the first one, which is pretty much the best joke of all time, and the second doesn’t really get us out of the whole bathroom genre. So I am desperate for some non-popsicle, non-bathroom related humour for my children. Please share your children’s favourites – I promise to give you full credit when relaying them to mine – in our house, the funny are royalty!