"How does any mother ever have time for herself, let alone for friends? By the time our kids' sports, homework, and the regular household duties are finished, I don't have energy to do more than collapse."
The question popped up on my news feed and under it dozens of comments from mums saying they feel the same way. I started to type my response, but fearing a negative reaction, deleted it.
My response is not popular.
It's not a "good mother" response.
Because I feel that if your life is too hectic to have time to yourself, time with your partner, and (not or!) time with your friends, then you need to pare back what you're doing.
Even if the paring back means your children don't get to participate in as many activities.
Finding time for friends is vital for my sanity. I need their words of advice, their quick laughter, and their outside perspective to help me find my center. Without time for friends, I'm not my best self.
Finding time for myself is vital for my sanity. I need quiet to be alone with my thoughts. I need peace to be able to analyze why I do the things I do and what I can do to improve my parenting.
Finding time for my partner is vital for a new relationship. I need to be able to learn about him, to make sure he fits in my life and I fit into his.
<>If I find my life getting too busy and one of those three items getting pushed to the side, I know it's time to rework our calendar and our agenda. Even if it means saying no sometimes.
How do you find time?