Recently, Lay’s brand potato chips came out with a chocolate covered potato chip. I like to refer to them as “Chocolate Covered Clooneys” since the only thing I can image being more delicious covered in chocolate than a potato chip, is George Clooney.
Recently, a buddy alerted me to the existence of this orgasmic chip and I over did it, acting surprised as if learning something knew. Truth be told, I’d already had my own bag of Lay’s chocolate covered chips days before. But I didn’t dare let my friend know. Why? Because things like potato chips, must less chocolate covered ones, are Mum guilty pleasures. Mums are supposed to be quinoa eating, workout obsessed, book reading superior humans who are pretty much solely responsible for shaping the eating, viewing and reading habits of our kids.
Ask any Mum, she’ll admit to being keenly aware that her kids are learning form her behaviour. Whatever Mum eats, the kids eat. Whatever Mum watches, the kids will watch. If Mum is a booklover, chances are her kids will be, too. So if Mum is a chocolate covered chip eater, so to will be her kids.
So “the fun stuff”, the fried foods and moronic reality tv shows of the world become a Mum’s guilty pleasure. She’s got to sneak it, as if she’s cheating on her children, or risk being a bad influence on her kids. Who knows? Maybe her kid wouldn’t have grown up to be a slovenly couch potato who can’t read or write his own name if Mum had eaten better or hadn’t watched those bad TV shows with her kids?
Personally, I’m no different. I try to eat healthy and keep up on what’s happening in the world. I aim to expose my kids to the best the world has to offer while not being rigid or inflexible. But ,I also really like Cheeto’s. And, really bad TV. And . . . well, here’s my list of guilty pleasures. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours. Just don’t tell my kids.
1) Cheetos. Orange, processed, hand-staining deliciousness.
2) HouseHunters. Mindless, escapist reality TV perfect for that worried-about-your-kids inspired insomnia that we Mums face on a regular basis.
3) The Real Housewives Of Anywhere. Anytime I feel badly about my life, I watch theirs. I don’t let my kids see. I’d hate from my kids to think all that name-calling and hair pulling is anything but really, really good TV.
4) Pinterest. Nothing to be ashamed of, except that Pinterest is a total time-suck. But I love cruising through to get ideas for birthday parties I’ll never throw.
5) Tabloid Mags. It’s tough to call US Mag a literary tour de force, but it sure is fun to read. Sure, I have no idea who the kids are in the magazine, but I’m thrilled to read about their diets, break-ups and make-ups. Sure beats doing the laundry, no?
6) Anything Containing the Combination of Peanut Butter And Chocolate. The only thing better than a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, is two. No I don’t want my kids to eat candy, but I’m not a kid. Don’t judge.
7) The Voice. I know I should be watching some smart PBS show or a clever primetime procedural, or god forbid reading a book. But I’d prefer to watch Team Cee-Lo kick the pants off of Team Adam.
8) Netflix. Sometimes Mums get insomnia. I’m no different. So while I limit my kid’s TV watching, I don’t limit mine. And if everyone else is asleep, I don’t have to share the remote. Or, the ipad.
9) Relentless Email Checking. I’m fairly certain world leaders check their email less than I do. Guilty pleasure or bad habit? Not sure, but don’t tell my kids either way.
10) Kesha. No grown-up should ever admit that they listen to, and sing in the car to, Kesha. And no Mum should ever admit that she listens to, and sings in the car to, a pop-singer whose name has a dollar sign in it. That said, turn it up and sing along!
11) Diet Coke. My kids have never had soda and hopefully they never will. And while I say I don’t drink soda, put a Diet Coke in front of me and I’ll be asking for ice faster than you can say, “That’s not very good for you.”
Now, who wants some Cheetos?