The phrase, “to each her own” is never more fitting than when you become a mum. That’s because it’s impossible to tell what kind of mum you’re going to be until you become one. I thought I’d be a world-travelling, take-my-baby-everywhere kind of mum. Once my baby was born, however, I didn’t want to go much of anywhere. I certainly didn’t want to go around the world with my little traveler in tow.
No matter what choices I made as a new mum, I realised that somebody was going to judge me. In talking to others, I’ve discovered that there are a few things every new mum is going to get sh*t for from someone else. Here are 7 things I’ve been criticised for, to my face and behind my back. Yikes!
1. Kids’ names
My son is named Balthazar, a rare biblical name, and my daughter’s middle name is the same as a fruit. People have felt free to criticise both choices. But here’s the thing: A baby name is a very personal choice that represents how the parents see the world.
2. Baby’s first photo
I’ve seen plenty of babies whose first photos weren’t at all gorgeous, but I would never say anything to their parents. Not everyone was so kind to me. It’s too bad. There’s nothing more beautiful than a newborn, even with their cradle cap, crooked face, baby acne, and pointy head.
3. Free time
When my kids were babies, I couldn’t always be available for lunch with a friend or dinner with my besties. Some friends weren’t terribly understanding.
4. Post-baby body
In general, I think it’s best to not comment on anyone else’s body at all. But, that doesn’t mean I haven’t gotten comments from relatives and friends about the way I looked after having kids. It’s really nobody else’s business. Plus, I think I looked pretty good, which isn’t easy!
5. Parenting style
I’ve had friends and other parents comment on everything from when my kids go to bed to how long they nap. I’m not sure why it matters, especially when I’ve never asked for their opinion.
6. Childcare choices
I had friends comment that I had too much help when I was postpartum, and I had relatives roll their eyes when I decided not to have any daytime help with my kids. The way I see it is if I’m not asking someone to help with my kids, then I don’t need her opinion on my childcare choices.
7. Feeding methods
I breastfed one child and formula fed the other. What I didn’t do was ask anyone else to breastfeed or bottle feed my children…or share their opinions about bottle feeding vs. breastfeeding. How I choose to feed my kids is my business.
While every mum vows not to judge other mums, it’s inevitable that we all do it. Hopefully if we all pay a little better attention and just worry about our own choices, we won’t feel the need to give other mums s*@t for theirs.
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