Not long after kids learn to start throwing around words like “no” and “poopyhead,” mums start throwing around threats like “don’t make me sell you” and “if I get to three, I’m giving away all of your toys.” It’s hard not to think of the many frank and funny classified ads you could write up for the newspaper if life worked that way. Here are some that most mums have been tempted to publish in their local paper:

1. Looking for a little help around the house.

Classified Ads Mums can definitely relate to

2. Modelling follow-through for the next generation.

Classified Ads Mums can definitely relate to

3. An honest listing.

Classified Ads Mums can definitely relate to

4. When you think you’ve found The One, you’ll do ANYTHING to connect.

Classified Ads Mums can definitely relate to

5. Acknowledging that your kids are far too effective birth control when in public.

Classified Ads Mums can definitely relate to

6. Two can play at this passive-aggression game, sister.

Classified Ads Mums can definitely relate to

7. They were around here…somewhere?

Classified Ads Mums can definitely relate to

8. We’re done here.

Classified Ads Mums can definitely relate to

What would your Want Ad say? Share it in the comments here or tag @helloMumtastic on Twitter.

More parenting laughs (that will hopefully make you feel better):