Jokes for kids are a big thing in our house. See, when I was little, I couldn’t get enough of my Dad’s corny kid jokes. I would spend hours practicing his silly jokes in my room, then attempt to wow my friends on the playground, invariably screwing up the punchline. It ain’t easy being cheesy!
Now that I’m a mum, I love cracking my family up with funny kid jokes. Sometimes they go over my 6-year-old’s head, but there is nothing better than that a-ha moment when she finally gets it. And then forget about having a normal conversation for a while; my girl needs to do her stand-up routine.
The best funny jokes for kids are easy to remember, bursting with puns, and totally G-rated, though a little bathroom humour never hurt anyone. So enjoy this list of funny kid jokes with your budding Sarah Silvermans and Kevin Harts.
1. How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
2. What time do you go to the dentist?
3. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
Bacon and legs.
4. April showers bring May flowers. What do Mayflowers bring?
5. What did the tooth fairy use to fix her wand?
6. How can you keep someone in suspense?
I’ll tell you later.
7. What do birds give out on Halloween?
8. Where do cows like to go on the weekend?
To the MOOvies.
9. What did the flower say to the bee?
10. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
11. Why did the baseball player go to jail?
He stole second base.
12. How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
13. What do you call a fairy that doesn’t take a bath?
14. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
15. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin on the ground?
16. Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
They don’t have any pockets.
17. What did the pirate say when he turned 80-years-old?
18. Why couldn’t the pirate kid see the movie?
Because it was rated arrrrgh.
19. How much does a pirate charge for ear piercing?
20. Why did the girl put candy under her pillow?
Because she wanted sweet dreams.
21. How does a train eat?
It goes chew chew!
22. Why do moon rocks taste better than earth rocks?
23. Why are teddy bears never hungry?
Because they’re always stuffed.
24. Where do pencils go on vacation?
25. If you’re American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?