I’m out with some friends. One of the gals at the table is pregnant with her third child and is debating whether or not she should ask for a push present when #3 arrives. A heated debate ensues about the validity of getting a present after giving birth. I’ll be honest, I’m totally surprised about the fervor that the debate takes on. I got a push present after the birth of each of my children and figured most other mums had received the same. “I’ve given up my life and my waistline for my family,” I say. “At the very minimum, I want a present.”
I’m surprised I’m not in the majority. In fact, at least half the women at the table say they not only didn’t get a push present, they didn’t want one. “My baby is my gift,” a few are quick to say. This statement sounds like a foreign language to me.
For me conversations like this aren’t as much about who got a push present and who didn’t, and more about a myth that comes with becoming a mother. To me, it’s a myth that mothers should want for nothing once becoming mums. I love my children and am grateful for them every single day, but that doesn’t mean my wants and needs ended the day they were born.
I think women can be dedicated, loving mums and still want for things outside of their children. Here are 5 more things I want since becoming a mum.
1. A thank you
Some mums says that the love of their children is all the gratitude they need. I don’t. This motherhood thing is tough. I want my kids to thank me.
Mums never get to opt in or out of parenting. We’re on all the time and are always expected to have the answers no matter what the question. I don’t mind, but I do want my family to notice.
3. Time to myself
I love being with my kids, but I also like a little time to myself. Since becoming a mum, I long for time to myself more than ever. It doesn’t mean I don’t cherish my kids, but it does mean I cherish the chance to recharge.
4. Nice kids
I don’t mind the pace or fatigue that comes with motherhood, but I expect my kids to do their jobs which is to work hard and be nice people. Seeing my kids grow to be good, kind people will be the gift that keeps on giving.
5. Gifts (beyond the push present)!
My kids are a gift, but so is a bracelet or a handbag. Nothing compares to the love of my kids, but a treat for me every now and then makes the sleepless nights and endless worry just a little easier to take.
See, there’s nothing wrong with wanting a gift or a thank you. Whomever started the myth that mums don’t need anything but the love of their children must have never heard their child say, “Thank you.” Now that’s a push present!
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