If you were to ask my husband if he snores, he’d swear he doesn’t. And yet, nearly every night I’m woken up by a sound just louder than a locomotive. My husband doesn’t just snore once in a while. He snores every night, all night long. And it’s loud.
I’m a light sleeper, so there’s no way I can sleep through it. And here’s the thing: Once I’m up, I’m up. So while he snores himself into dreamland, I’m getting more and more sleep deprived.
I’ve tried pretty much everything to address the issue. I nudge him on the back to get him to roll over. I sleep with a pillow over my head, hoping to block out the noise. I’ve even tried sleeping with earplugs in, but it didn’t work; I worried all night that I wouldn’t be able to hear my kids if one of them needed me, so I didn’t sleep then either. Lord knows my husband isn’t waking up.
It’s gotten to the point where I wonder why fixing my husband’s snoring problem has become my responsibility. See, the real reason I’m so bent out of shape about my husband’s snoring isn’t just the lack of sleep. It’s the fact that my husband refuses to do anything to fix it. While he’s promised me no less than a dozen times that he’ll make an appointment with an allergist or go see a sleep specialist, he doesn’t. “Oh, I forgot,” he’ll say like it’s not a big deal.
So honestly, I’m ready for separate rooms. I’m getting less sleep than when my kids were newborns. (Sure, my babies woke me up to eat but they usually went back to sleep once they were finished eating… and they didn’t sound like a chainsaw once they were asleep.) I’ve never understood couples who sleep in separate rooms, but now I’m starting to get it.
I think part of what makes marriage work is realising that your own choices affect someone else. Choosing not to take care of yourself affects your spouse in a negative way. My husband’s refusal to seek treatment for his snoring problem is totally selfish. He may think it’s just a simple oversight, but if it were important to him he’d have already gone. Clearly my sleep is not important to him.
I don’t mind my kids waking me up, but I do mind losing sleep to a grown-up who insists he doesn’t snore. Trust me hon, you snore. I’ve got the dark circles under my eyes to prove it.
Making marriage work:
- How My Husband and I Stay in Love Now That We’re in the Parenting Trenches
- How to Get in the Mood When You’re Not in the Mood for Sex
- How to Test Your Relationship: Have a Baby!