Who says summer break isn’t a time for learning? This summer alone, you’ll learn that Pinterest lies and that the ice cream man must know exactly when you’re about to have the kids sit down for dinner. You’ll also learn that you are great at making plans and terrible about following through.
In fact, you’ll learn so many lessons over the summer, when your kids are home and your coping mechanisms go on holiday, that it can be hard to keep them all straight! Which kid was allergic to the broad-spectrum sunscreen and which gets a rash from bug spray? Doesn’t matter, their sunburn will trump their skin reactions.
To remember summer break’s lessons for you, simply recite your ABCs: apathy, beggary, and concession…
A is for Arithmetic that you swore you’d make your children practice
B is for Barf Bags, because the tweenager gets car sick
C is for Camping, which you thought would be a great way to bond without electornics (spoiler: you’re wrong)
D is for Daddy, who gives the kids s’mores at bedtime
E is for Eating Snacks, which is what your kids do 157% more of in the summer
F is for Fun, which is inversely proportionate to the amount of money you’ve paid or the distance you’ve travelled to have it