The peak of pleasure for a woman is not what men seem to think it is—unless they were thinking of that glorious moment a mum realises her entire brood is fast asleep. Mums hit the ground running at an hour even the sun finds obscenely too early, and their days are nothing but relentless. After a dozen-plus hours of looking at “this” and breaking up arguments and cutting sandwiches into squares NO! triangles NO! squares and wiping butts and wiping tears and having noses wiped on you and reading out loud and building forts and pulling rogue toddlers off too-tall forts and all sorts of chasing, cleaning, feeding, fixing and assisting, it’s bedtime for the littles. Which often takes another hour or four to successfully complete. Then an odd sound fills your ears: silence. Delicious, goosebump-inducing silence.
In order to properly explain this sensation, we asked mums to try to put into words exactly what it feels like when your kids are finally asleep for the night. This is what they said:
1. “More euphoric than if Zac Efron and Ryan Gosling had me asked to cuddle while telling me I look thin.” – Meredith G.
2. “The sigh of relief like keeping it under $100 at Target.” – Alexandra R.
3. “Like every muscle in my butt can finally unclench.” – Sarah D.
4. “Like calorie-free cab sav.” – Monica M.
5. “That same feeling of tingly coolness you feel on your bare skin when you take off your bra on a 40 degree day and it’s been sticking to you like a second skin.” – Lily T.
6. “Like winning the lottery!” – Jennifer B.
7. “Finally, no more witnesses *grabs all the snacks I tell my kids they can’t have 50 times a day*” – Jessica C.
8. “Like finding a $20 bill in a pair of jeans you are wearing for the first time in 10 years because you finally lost enough weight to fit into them again.” – Amy B.
9. “Like when all the lights ahead of you turn green just as you get to them. Freedom!” – Elizabeth C.
10. “It’s like I imagine the thrill of shoplifting a designer bag. There’s always that chance that I might get caught enjoying it.” – Eve B.
11. “Ahhhhhh, the silence…feels like waiting for the other shoe to drop!” – Heather L.
12. “Sweet, merciful [insert deity of your choice]. They sleep.” – Elly L.
13. “I hear angels singing. Or maybe that’s the hum of the dishwasher. Whatever.” —Pam M.
How would you describe it? Let us know in the comments!
More mum truths:
- 21 Things Every Mum Knows About Toddler Messes
- What it Feels Like to Put Kids to Bed at Night
- Crazy Sh*t People Without Kids Say to Parents