To the mum who can’t even today,
I see you. Because, well – I’ve been you. In fact, I might even be you again tomorrow, or next week – or next month.
I see how it’s 6 am and you’ve already lived three days in the amount of time other people are just getting their first cup of warm coffee. And you can’t even wrap your head around having another day at home ahead of you.
I know what it feels like to feel beat up by motherhood. I know that some days, you just can’t. You can’t be the perfect mother. You can’t be the one who is everything to everyone today.
You don’t want to do carpool, and music lessons. You don’t want to break up battles over stupid things your kids are fighting over, and you certainly don’t want to make dinner.
You just want to not do anything.
Maybe you’re tempted right now to feel immense amounts of guilt because it’s 2pm and you’re in your pyjamas trying to get going for the day that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Maybe you’re over it all – the toddler tantrums, and the nappy changes, or the sassy attitudes.
I get it. I know how you feel. And, guess what? You’re justified in not being able to do much today.
It’s OK to feed them cereal for dinner, and have a screen full day instead of a screen-free one.
It’s OK to not be able to do all that is expected of you. It’s OK to wish that you had more energy to do that Pinterest craft you found that would prove that you’re a fun mum.
It’s OK that you aren’t living up to your own expectations because – well, they are probably too high anyway.
It’s OK to have a day – a moment where you “can’t even.”
It happens. It doesn’t make you the worst mum in the world. Or even a lazy one. It just makes you real.
Not every day is going to be full of glitter crafts, organic meals, and patience. Because, who can possibly keep up with that every day?
Not every day is going to be full of laughter and peace and harmony in your house.
Not every day will be full of met expectations and order and schedules.
In fact, you’ll find the longer you do this motherhood thing, that having a “can’t even” day is the only way to survive.
It’s the way to give yourself grace. It’s the way to re-charge. It’s the way to keep going.
Motherhood requires all of us. It requires the emotional side, the physical, and the mental. It requires sacrifices we never dreamed of, and forgiveness of ourselves (and others) on an hourly basis.
So, if you’re having an off day – embrace it. We are not perfect. And, the best part is – we don’t have to be.
Kids need to relax and stay in their PJs all day some days. They need healthy foods, yes – but they’ll remember most the meals where you let them eat snacks in front of the TV and called it dinner.
Because when you’re a kid – that’s fun.
They need outdoor play and activities that stimulate their minds – but they also need a happy mum. One that takes care of herself and fills her own cup up every now and again.
So, if you’re feeling off today, and like you “can’t” – then don’t.
Because, you’ll do plenty tomorrow – we always do.
Mums are great that way. So, give yourself a break if you have to say no to the lemonade stand, or a play date so you can all just veg out.
Take your “can’t even” day today so you can be the yes mum tomorrow. I promise. It will be OK.
A fellow mum who sometimes “can’t even” too.