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It may almost sound blasphemous. I know. I don’t want more children. After almost sixteen years of maternal bliss, why would I not want more? Even better, I’m still of ripe child bearing age. But I’m going to say what no one else wants to. My youngest is ten years old. That means all going well, I have eight more years to go. So, having another child right now is tantamount to being a hairbreadth away from being eligible for parole, and then committing an offense punishable by a life sentence. Having said that, here are five reasons why I really don’t want more kids.
1. I love my body
There, I said it, I don’t want to deal with the physical effects of pregnancy and childbirth. I did it twice and three times is not a charm in my book. So, I say no to weight gain, stretch marks and swollen ankles. I say a bigger heck no to leaking breasts, C-section scars and possible postnatal depression. No, I’m not vain. I have done it before and being realistic, I am taking an informed decision to not do it again.
2. Potty training isn’t a recognized career
Having successfully trained two boys to urinate and defecate on their own, I have no desire to do it again. Not because you do something well that means you want to repeat the experience. I should also mention that after we get them out of nappys, we need to keep them dry at nights. Hooray to all the mums doing it now and God’s speed!
3. I love alcohol
Mums are allowed to go to happy hours. We’re even allowed to show our faces at cocktail parties occasionally. But the truth is that when your kids are young, especially while holding down a full-time job, time outside of the house is a stretch. Even with the most supportive partner and child care, a break from a toddler is cherished time to sleep. Happy hour isn’t even a distant third. So, having gotten reacquainted with happy hour, I am looking forward to nurturing that relationship.
4. I only want to feed myself
Whether we realise it or not, we spend at least the first three years of our kids’ lives preparing meals and feeding them. Is it selfish to only want to feed yourself? To want the pleasure of rolling spaghetti on your own fork and not cutting up food for a toddler? I’m finally at the point where I can cook pork chops and not have to separate the bones. The place settings at the dinner table are now complete and the conversation is great. Pasta is no longer mac and cheese and there is real salad on the table. It’s good going now, no desire to back track.
5. I want to sunbathe in Fiji
Fiji is just one of my stops. I want to see Greece, Jerusalem and Switzerland. Travelling with morning sickness is no fun. Travelling with a toddler is the definition of wet blanket. Then which parent is going to choose a week in Tuscany over their child’s tuition? Well, I don’t want to choose. I already made that sacrifice.
As a mother of two, I deserve the right to not want to jump on the baby making bandwagon again. Having kids is a blessing, and the amount you have is a personal. Cheers to the mums who plan to get back in the game!