My mum is extraordinary. Growing up, I would often see her as the villain and my dad as the hero. My dad was Mr. Clean, as he was a house-husband for a long time. He took care of all the household chores, while my mum was the one wholeft for work every morning. Despite being busy overseeing her small shoe shop, my mum still managed to be a helicopter parent to me and my 2 siblings. She has a very strong personality and believe me when I say that even the strongest man alive will fear at her sight.
It is still fresh in my mind how we would rush to clean all the dirty plates on the sink, wipe the tables and make sure the windows were as clean as possible, before she came home. Anything she deemed dirty would trigger her anger. And believe me you don’t want to get my mum mad; because she won’t stop spouting sermons until you lose your patience and shout back at her. My mum loves provoking us to anger but once we reached our saturation point, she will then question our behaviour and respect for her. Crazy, right?
Back then I always swore that I wouldn’t be like her when I had a family of my own. But I have a secret to tell you. Recently I noticed myself growing to be like her. I am becoming my mother, version 2.0. I have adapted her out-of-this world parenting style and I won’t apologise to my son for that. Why? Because my mom’s parenting style has brought me to where I am now.
Here are some parenting lessons from my mum
What she says goes
You will never win an argument with my mum. When she insists the sun rises in the West and sets in the East, she will hold on and fight for it until the end. No matter how many explanations you have brought to the battle, you will always be the one raising the white flag in the end.
Now I am thanking her for that because if she easily gave in and conceded to our arguments, I wouldn’t have grown up to be so determined and resourceful. If not for her, I would be easily disheartened by criticisms and negative feedback.
She is “Doctor Mom”
Don’t get me wrong. My mum has not earned a degree in medicine. She has not even completed her bachelor’s degree, but she is a certified Doctor Mum. Before we reached our pediatrician’s office, my mum had already had a diagnosis and prescription ready for us. Amazingly her findings were almost always the same our doctor’s recommendations.
Even though she was a working mother, she always made sure that she remained a hands-on mum to all of us. She knows us well. From the food that we love the most up to the details of our medical history, she can answer your questions in the blink of an eye. This is why at any onset of disease, she already had in mind the line of treatments that we would need.
She never ends a day without reaching her quota of 50,000 words
My mum loves to talk. We have an inside joke in the family. My dad will always tease her that she has not reached her quota of 50,000 words per day yet, that is why she is still nagging us even if it is our bedtime.
Now that I am parenting a 10-year-old boy, I realised that nagging is an important part of a mother’s communication system. It is the instinct of every mother to get everything in the house in order. Since we don’t have all the time in the world to take care of all our family matters, we nag because we want to tell them how to do things the right way. We nag because we can’t be there with them at all times and save them from any possible harms that they may experience in life. Giving constant reminders is one of the methods that I use to show that I care for my kids.
Never tolerate tantrums
How do you handle your kid’s tantrums? My mum never tolerated tantrums at home and much less in public. She has a unique way of dealing with it. Mind you, her method is effective, as we never threw one after seeing what happened to my younger brother after an epic tantrum.
My brother was I guess 10 or 12 at that time when he threw a tantrum with my mum at a nearby mall. He was asking her to buy him a toy or something. Seeing that our family runs and sticks to a budget, my mum never gave in to my brother’s request. He didn’t stop the tantrums until my mum decided to leave him at the mall.
I could see the worry in her eyes when she told my younger brother to go home on his own. But a few moments later, my brother fell for the bluff and immediately ran to us as soon as we were outside the mall doors. As heartbreaking as the situation was, my mother stood and held her head high and showed to us that a good mum never gives in to the unreasonable requests and manipulative acts of her kids.
A mum never filters She is honest!
My mum is super honest. She never sugar coats. Even if it will break our heart, she makes sure that she always tells us the truth. I know that it is hard for her to see us crying from the things that she tells us, but she still does it because it will make us better individuals. Because of her out of this world parenting style, I grew up to be a strong woman who cannot be easily broken by harsh words and comments from other people. I grew up knowing how to learn and use the criticisms to my advantage.