March is National Women’s History Month, a month dedicated to celebrating the achievements and contributions women have made to society. For an entire thirty-one days, we highlight and salute women who are making strides and shattering norms. This Women’s History Month, we’re taking a look at some everyday mums who inspire us. They are truly powerful, motivated, and admirable women who have made their mark in various fields. Enter Michelle Bhasin, A lawyer and lover of orchids, Michelle is also proud to be defined as mum of Jake and Mia.
How do you define motherhood?
I don’t. I’m too tired to define it. By the time I get around to thinking about motherhood I am a complete puddle of a person. And I try not to think about it too much. To try and not dissect it. For every mother, those of us who think we are good, bad,just ok. So much goes into being a mum. It takes so much out of each of us. It brings so much to us. To try and define it would be to try and define something as birth – the pain,the joy, the anxiety, the frustration, the power, the powerlessness. Except this does not end. That’s why we are all so tired. Every day.
What super power do you bring to motherhood?
Honesty. That I am dramatically flawed. I do not try to pretend I am perfect. No pretending that I have to all together. I am not perfect. I’ve burned dinner. My kids are sometimes late for school and it’s my fault. I’ve yelled. I cry. I don’t like the way my hair looks. Sometimes I’m lonely. And I’m tired. And they see this. They see me. In my glory and the times I’m at my best and I’m rocking it. But they see me when I’m at my worst. When I’m sad, when I’m not ok, when I’m just trying. But they see me be honestly me. Who I am. They know their mum. And because they know me, we can be honest. They can be honest. And no moment is too hard for us. And everything passes.
What makes you do a better job at mothering?
I have amazing friends. My friends keep me grounded. They keep me laughing. They keep me sane. But we are always there for each other. We love each other. We respect each other. Not just as mums but we respect each other as women who need to be viewed as women. So we talk about things that aren’t kid related. We talk about our passions. What makes us laugh. We laugh at each other. My friends are necessary to my existence as a mum.
What special project are you working on now (not mum related)?
Finding inner peace. My mum died a couple years ago and I spent a long time feeling lost. Feeling in a space that life didn’t make sense without a mum. The special project I am working on is me. This is a project I have never worked on before. It’s new. So I have a lot to learn.
Share a snippet of advice to other mums
My best advice is ignore the assholes. All of them. When you’re pregnant there will be people who tell you having a baby is hard. Yes. It is. Then having a toddler is hard. Yes. It is. And having a school aged kid. And teenager. Yes. It’s all hard. We all know this. Ignore those people. Life is hard. But you haven’t called that quits.
Find the people who make you laugh. Who make you want to laugh about motherhood. About the things you’ve done. And want to do. Who give you advice AFTER you’ve asked for it. Those people make it fun. Because if you can’t have fun while you’re doing this, it’s not worth it. And trust me, I’ve had some incredible downs. But this is worth it. It is truly, truly worth it.
For your daily dose of awesome, follow Michelle on Twitter @michellebhasin