Pregnancy is full of small and significant revelations, ones that have left me feeling profoundly grateful, uniquely uncomfortable, and excited like never before. But among all of the physical and emotional changes that have taken my breath away, nothing surprised (or comforted!) me more than discovering that I would experience it all, for the first time, at the same time as my best friend.
In our case, we became unlikely pals in college — the kind without a great deal of obvious things in common, but who often ended up laughing uproariously til 4 a.m. Post-college and long distance, we remained in constant support of one another, prioritizing epic phone chats, even when we couldn’t necessarily relate to the other’s daily life, even when we didn’t know what to ask other than, “Seriously, how are you?”
To this day, it’s seriously friendship kismet, a beautiful, inexplicable connection. And now, eight years out of school, we’re both happily married, both pursuing careers we find challenging and meaningful, both living in homes that we’re proud to “call home,” and both pregnant with our first children, both boys, both to be born this summer. (YAY!)
Based on my experience, here is why being pregnant alongside your BFF is the best!
1. You can swap baby registry revelations, hopefully avoiding purchasing those unnecessary, pricey pieces, and stocking up on the gear that really counts.
2. You’re not “holding the other back” socially. Because, well, you’re both pregnant! I remember upon sharing my pregnancy news with J.S., after 100+ super sweet gushes, she said, “So Ladies ’80s is off the calendar for a while,” knowing that it’d be at least nine months until I’d again be downing cranberry vodkas at 2 a.m. on a Thursday, screaming Madonna’s, “Life is a mystery, everyone must staaaaand aloooone…!” Now that we’re simultaneously with babe, Ladies ’80s will have to wait for the both of us.
3. You can commiserate about how condescending/annoying/futile/overwhelming “mommy advice” can be. Especially when it comes unsolicited, from a total stranger. (And yes, we’re talking to you, Lady At Whole Foods. And no, we don’t need to visit that website on holistic baby blah blah blah. Who asked you?!)
4. Three words: Joint Zoo Membership. I can already picture the boys in their baby-sized matching “Jungle Jack Hanna” hats. (Note to self: Must add to “absolutely necessary” registry list.)
5. She’s also going through strange, less-than-fun body and lifestyle changes. I miss sleeping on my back and Belvedere Vodka. She misses being able to power through an extra grueling workday on four hours of sleep, a massive canteen of black coffee, and pure grit. We both fear our homes will be taken over by baby gear and sterilized nipples. (And speaking of nipples, yeah, we chat about what’s happening to those, too.)
6. You can study up on all things baby together. Because let’s be real — there’s just tooooo many topics to tackle on your own, especially if you attempt to embrace motherhood books, medical research, and trusted blogs.
7. Nothing is off-limits, not even the paranoid, strange, self-deprecating, and even disgusting curiosities that strike you. Lately I’ve been texting her questions and exclamations that I’d likely be embarrassed to share with anyone else on the planet. (Lucky you, J.S.! mwahahaaaa.)
8. You can take bump photos together. Instead of posing for a photo with your darling husband, who still looks trim and handsome and all-around NOT PREGNANT, you can share in an impromptu photo shoot with your preggo BFF (and, if you’re like us, hilariously arrive in accidentally matching ensembles, too).
9. Three more words: Maternity Leave Together. Ladies Who Lunch, here we come! Sort of, right? Okay, maybe not. But it’ll still be fantastic.
10. You’re closer than ever — and, I imagine that my BFF and I will become even closer, in new, unforeseen, and profound ways as our children grow up.
Wherever these next several life chapters may take us, the little men growing inside us will bond us further. They’ll likely experience many of the same common growing pains in tandem, graduate high school the same year, maybe get married around the same stretch… with glimmering hope and promise, the list goes on and on. Forever, we’ll have this second shared experience to reference and reflect upon, and I couldn’t be more grateful.