Honesty is the best policy—unless you’re trying to comfort yourself amidst the madness of back-to-school. Mums are the worst offenders because we’ll assure ourselves of pretty much anything in order to check something off of our To Do Lists. We are the planet’s biggest optimists until the first day of school is actually happening, because […]
Because there’s too much vague bullsh*t out there that doesn’t prepare you for what’s about to go down.
I am so excited about Super Bowl Sunday! For those of you who don’t know, it is a sports-ing thing during which two teams go on television to have a match to determine who gets to go home with a metal football stuck atop a tall triangle. The bestest player that day gets his own […]
#6. People who insist that breastfeeding is “so easy” when you are struggling with it deserve a taco karate chop.
To give you an idea of what it’s like, here are highlights from a typical dinner with my two-year-old twins.
Marriage is the joyous union of two people who’ve optimistically vowed to love one another ’til death do they part. But as all married people soon find out, marriage is work. Serious work. And sometimes you wish the vows had been a little more specific; like, “I promise to love you in sickness and in […]
It’s time to go dancing with our girlfriends again! We’ll be home by 10:30, right? RIGHT???
Though you may not find it in your Oxford dictionary, “Hot Mess” is a term that’s probably familiar to most mums. Simply put, it refers to a person or thing that is disorganized or disheveled. Now, I don’t know about you, but that pretty much sums up my entire existence as a mom: There’s a […]
#3. I NEED MORE TESTS. I will drink a gallon of water, and go get more tests. I need to be sure.
You probably never thought you’d be sitting ta-tas out just a wall away from your boss, but here you are, diligently subjecting yourself to the tiny torture-device better known as a breast pump in the name of feeding your child that sweet, sought-after breast milk. The things we do for our kids, amirite? Whether your […]
In this thing called motherhood, I recognise that we all do things differently. But whether you work or stay at home, no matter what you feed your children or whose rooms they sleep in, or where you stand on traditional medicine, homeschooling, and any of the other hot topics, I can promise you this: We […]
#16. “Seriously? Fighting over LEGO? What the f—” *CLICK*
